2

When He Sleeps Next To Me

God, I feel so thankful.

When husband laid asleep next to me, I studied his face and thought to myself,
I’ve come so far.

12 years ago I wouldn’t have thought that I will be like who I am now in 2021.

I’m not that much wiser, smarter or anything. I gained quite some weight, if that counts as accomplishment lol.

But I’m happier.

That, I can be certain of.

I feel blessed.

With a husband, a daughter, a house we can call our own (Mortgage: “Ahem. Don’t forget me, I will be staying around here until a decade and half later. Just thought you need reminding. Ahem.”), and how I can live my everyday routines gratefully.

A routine that could feel mundane, sometimes. A repeatedly day-by-day that made me ask some friends, hey am I doing life correctly? Because I feel like I’m not very ambitious, I don’t have any grande goal in this life. I don’t do big awesome things that could affect or help people’s life positively. I don’t think I must travel this world to feel life to the fullest. I’m not eager in thinking how to invest this and that.

I kind of feel as if all of these things, that I have right now, are enough.

My loved ones are relatively healthy, and I have a good husband, a smart daughter.

Everyday mostly consists of doing what I should do at work, tittle-tattled with my close friends and my sister in a messenger application, thinking about what should I prepare for breakfast and lunch+dinner tomorrow, helping kiddo to do her homework, video calls with my mum.

Sometimes having heated arguments with hubby, or screaming my head off at kiddo for not listening to what I told her. Or mostly, just having simple quality times with them. With some jokes here and there, teasing and giggling, tickling and laughing.

Also financially independent enough so I can buy some cute things I like, or some toys and books for kiddo. Even spontaneous small presents for hubby.

Well, I wouldn’t say no to more $$$ in my savings,

But right now,

as I lay next to husband, I feel enough.

All of these mundane routines, they reminded me of how I’m still doing okay.

and for that,

God, I feel so grateful and blessed.

2

Diajak Pacaran

Minggu lalu, Mireia minta nginep di rumah yeye nainainya weekend ini.

Waktu lagi di dalam mobil dalam perjalanan pulang ke rumah habis kerja, gue dan koko sekalian bahas soal malem imlek mau beli tambahan makanan apa. Bahas ini bahas itu, akhirnya ngomongin soal rencana nginepnya si Reia.

Koko bilang, nginepnya di hari Jumat ke Sabtu aja. Jadi kita jemput pulangnya Sabtu malem. Sehati banget karena gue emang udah mau suggest begitu ke dia lol.

Abis itu gue bahas soal belakangan lagi males makan ini itu, jadi koko ngeledek, mungkin males karena pengennya yang di resto mahalan. Bosen makanan rumahan muahaha. Trus koko naro tangannya di lutut gue sambil ngomong, “Sabtu ini sekalian makan berduaan aja, mau makan steak ato apa?”

Sejujurnya pas dia ngomong, ga ada sensasi butterflies in stomach kayak dulu pas zaman pacaran.
Tapi…gue seneng.
Seneng banget.
Gue excited.

Bahkan pas sampe rumah dan mau mandi, gue ngeliat pantulan diri gue sendiri di kaca, lalu senyum-senyum sendirian cengar cengir kesenengan. Gak sabar nunggu Sabtu. Gak sabar mau pacaran berdua sama suami.

Meskipun pandemi Covid-19 ini seringkali bikin sungkan posting jujur soal ke mall, soal makan di restoran karena yaaahhh kan memang bukan buat kebutuhan penting ato mendesak, but I have to say…
This date is important.
Not for my sanity during this pandemic, but for my marriage.

Gue ga inget kapan terakhir kali keluar berduaan koko bener-bener cuma buat enjoying each other’s companion, makan santai, ngobrol-ngobrol gaje tanpa Mireia.
Don’t get me wrong, bukannya pernikahan gue lagi bermasalah ya, dan memang betul gue bisa aja berduaan sama koko di rumah aja. Tapi kalo diajak pacaran keluar itu rasanya entah kenapa lebih spesial. Pake telor.

Gue bakal dandan. Bakalan mikirin mau pake baju apa yaaaa yang cakep. Mungkin bakal bela-belain pake highheels juga hihihi. Rasanya lebih gemes-gemes gimana aja gitu, lebih berasa kencannya.

Dan masih berkaitan dengan topik ini, gue akui sebagai orang tua, terutama seorang ibu, seringkali gue mengalami mom’s guilt ato merasa bersalah karena harus ninggalin anak. Merasa bersalah karena bersenang-senang tanpa anak, karena ga ngajakin anak.
Tapi sisi lain dari otak gue mengingatkan bahwa waktu untuk diri sendiri dan atau waktu untuk berduaan sama pasangan itu juga penting.
Penting buat anak juga karena dengan menyisihkan waktu untuk diri sendiri/berduaan pasangan itu,
we become happier.
And happy parents are important because that way,

we can have a better state of mind to deal with our kids too.

So I am soooo looking forward to this weekend! Hehe. I am giddy with excitement 😀

Sekarang jadi lagi mikirin, pake baju apa ya nantiii 😀

9

Hello again!

Hello blog yang udah lama terlantar karena gue keasyikan update di Instagram dan jadi males ngeblog muahahaha.

Ini juga ngeblog gegara “didorong” oleh Bu Episapi alias maminya duo C si Epoi nyahahaha. *terdorong*

Tapi aku tu suka bertanya-tanyaaaa kalo aku update blog emang ada yah yang bacaaaaa? Coba mana yang baca, komen dongggg *wow cari perhatian tanpa rasa malu*

MUAHAHAHA 😛

Okay serious talk nowww,

Belakangan emang berasa males nulis blog karena lebih demen nulis penggalan cerita sehari-hari di Instagram Story, apalagi tentang Mireia. Karena diem-diem ternyata temen kantor dan temen sekolah (yang follow IG tapi ga bacain blog ini) banyak yang jadi fans Mireia, meski ga pernah komen dan ga pernah kasih emoji apapun. Temen-temen kantor contohnya, bisa tau-tau ngebahas apa yang pernah aku share di IGS sambil bilang kalo mereka gemes dan demen sama Mireia, aku malah lupa beberapa cerita  dan baru inget pas mereka ungkit. Baru ngeh lagi, oiya yaaa benerrr itu pernah terjadiii. Hahaha.

Trus karena dapet perhatian, tentu saja gue bagaikan disuntik endorphin alias hormon senang jadinya gue merasa banyak yang bakal ikutan ketawa bareng saat gue share ceritanya Mireia. Jadinya makin demen sharing cerita soal Mireia di Instagram.

It’s like telling a joke to your peers and they laughed so hard so you just grinned and couldn’t wait to tell the next joke.

Does that make sense? I hope it does lol 😀

Postingan ini kok jadi mengarahkan orang untuk ngeliatin IG gue aja ya jadinya, bukannya menyemangati untuk terus baca blog gue nyahahaha.

Honestly though, I’m considering to put this blog on private setting.

Tapi masih jadi pertimbangan. Hmmmm.

Gue mikir-mikir dulu ah kalo gitu. Sampe jumpa lagi di celoteh ga jelas berikutnya!