When He Sleeps Next To Me

God, I feel so thankful.

When husband laid asleep next to me, I studied his face and thought to myself,
I’ve come so far.

12 years ago I wouldn’t have thought that I will be like who I am now in 2021.

I’m not that much wiser, smarter or anything. I gained quite some weight, if that counts as accomplishment lol.

But I’m happier.

That, I can be certain of.

I feel blessed.

With a husband, a daughter, a house we can call our own (Mortgage: “Ahem. Don’t forget me, I will be staying around here until a decade and half later. Just thought you need reminding. Ahem.”), and how I can live my everyday routines gratefully.

A routine that could feel mundane, sometimes. A repeatedly day-by-day that made me ask some friends, hey am I doing life correctly? Because I feel like I’m not very ambitious, I don’t have any grande goal in this life. I don’t do big awesome things that could affect or help people’s life positively. I don’t think I must travel this world to feel life to the fullest. I’m not eager in thinking how to invest this and that.

I kind of feel as if all of these things, that I have right now, are enough.

My loved ones are relatively healthy, and I have a good husband, a smart daughter.

Everyday mostly consists of doing what I should do at work, tittle-tattled with my close friends and my sister in a messenger application, thinking about what should I prepare for breakfast and lunch+dinner tomorrow, helping kiddo to do her homework, video calls with my mum.

Sometimes having heated arguments with hubby, or screaming my head off at kiddo for not listening to what I told her. Or mostly, just having simple quality times with them. With some jokes here and there, teasing and giggling, tickling and laughing.

Also financially independent enough so I can buy some cute things I like, or some toys and books for kiddo. Even spontaneous small presents for hubby.

Well, I wouldn’t say no to more $$$ in my savings,

But right now,

as I lay next to husband, I feel enough.

All of these mundane routines, they reminded me of how I’m still doing okay.

and for that,

God, I feel so grateful and blessed.