He Loved Me First

Kenapa ya… sehari sebelum gue mens, gue pasti selalu berasa sedih-sedih gitu seharian, sedihnya tuh bisa ampe nangis pula.

Segala hal bisa jadi trigger nangis secara random. Tiba-tiba kepikiran ini itu lah, nonton video lah, denger lagu lah, adu pendapat dikit sama koko lah, kangen nyokap lah. Tiap bulan beda-beda biasanya. Dan triggernya itu, kalau gue tonton/denger/alami pas di luar masa h-1 mens, ya… biasa aja rasanya. Sama sekali ga ada kepengenan buat nangis pokoknya.

Mau mens aja rempong ye? 😆

Nah kemaren itu setelah nangis diem-diem di kantor gegara di trigger dengan ketidakyakinan sama rencana acara pernikahan (acaranya ya, bukan keinginan untuk nikahnya. Kalo yang itu sih… tetep mantap surantap 😎 😆 ), sambil browsing-browsing nyari lagu untuk menuhin list lagu resepsi, gue sempet ‘ketemu’ lagi sama lagu yang pernah jadi ‘trigger’ tangisan gue sekitar setengah tahun yang lalu.

Waktu itu sih nangisnya ampe dua hari-hari berturut-turut sebelum mens. Buahahaha. Heboh. Nangisnya juga model nangis kejer yang sedihhhhhhhh banget. Mungkin karena emang sambil di bawa kangen banget kali ya? Gue ampe ngasitau ke Irene (calon bridesmaid gue yang masih lagi berjuang buat diet) betapa ‘gilak’nya nih lagu bikin gue sedih dan kangen banget begitu.

Kemaren pas lagi baca-baca sekian puluh list dan ngeliat judul lagu fenomenal ini, refrain tuh lagu udah langsung otomatis keputer aja gitu di dalem kepala. Tapi karena udah nangis karena hal lain pas paginya, gue jadi ga ngerasa pengen nangis lagi. Cuman yaaa tetep aja.. kok ya hati ini mencelos aja gitu baca judulnya dan keinget lagunya. Dalem hati otomatis langsung nyanyi meskipun gue tau gue bakal jadi makin berasa sedih banget.

Terutama mengingat udah tinggal sebulanan menjelang hari H gini..

I wished he would be there… looking at me and smile… walking me down the aisle… 😥

buat yang brides to be, boleh banget loh dijadiin inspirasi untuk father-daughter dance.

Biar lebih berasa lagi greget dan haru birunya nih lagu, ini gue copas liriknya ya dari AZ lyric.

“I Loved Her First”

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there’s nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I’m not gonna stand in your wayBut I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I’m going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Yes you did. You loved me first. *wipes tears*
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(P.S. Maaf ya oma, dirimu aku crop…. 😀 )
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